31 Years, 31 Thoughts.
Yesterday I turned 31 and I decided to sit down and write down 31 thoughts that I’ve had about this life so far lived. I thought you might enjoy reading them so here they are.
You can only control your own happiness. No matter how much you love, care or adore someone. At the end of the day you can't force someone to be happy, you can't force someone to feel loved. You can be there for them, but only you can control your own happiness.
There is only one certainty in life: uncertainty. The sooner we realize that the sooner we can take our ego out of the way and understand that while there are many things in our control, the amount that isn't under our control can be crushing. Embrace uncertainty for it is the only certainty.
Love more.
Be kind more.
Touch the people you love. Eventually you are going to give someone their last hug, last handshake, last forehead kiss. So touch the people you love for you never know when they or you will take their last breath. Hold your grandma's hand a little longer. Give your grandpa a kiss on his forehead. Gaze into the eyes of a friend, hold hands with your little sister or brother.
Smile more. In todays world finding something to be angry, upset or miserable about is really easy. It's also exhausting and you'll die earlier if you're constantly angry and upset. It's called stress, short term it's ok and can be good. Long term your rate of heart attack, stroke is going up, and pretty much every other category of rate of death is going to go up. So smile more.
Take a deep breath. Then another one. Then another one. Sit back and do this more often it'll make your day better and eventually your life better.
It's okay to slow down, to lay down, but don't forget to get back up.
The past is gone, the future isn't here quite yet. So we only have this moment. Right here, right now. Then it's gone. There went another one. Yet we always have the now, the present. So be here for the now. Plan for the future, reflect on the past, but don't forget that all we have is right now.
We are humans. There are over 4000 recognized religions in the world. Maybe ones right, maybe two are right, maybe a combination of them are correct. Maybe no religion is correct. One thing we do know is that we are all humans. We were born and we are going to die. We don't get to know what happens or if anything does afterwards. There is one constant though, for now we are human. That is our tribe, that is our people. Human. Be kind to humans no matter their race, creed, belief system, etc.
You can't pour from an empty cup. You just can't. As much as you want to help others if you aren't taking care of yourself, mentally, physically, emotionally you aren't going to be able to show up for others in your best form.
Growth is f*cking hard. It comes in waves, ripples, and sometimes not at all. If there is an aspect of life where you want to grow its not going to be easy, but from my experience its worth it.
Life isn't easy. That's what makes it beautiful.
The person in front of you at the grocery line. Driving next to you on the highway. They have good days and bad days too. They feel alone, they feel lost, they feel happy, they feel angry. They're human and they're also just trying to figure this life out as well. Remember that. Each individual you interact with has their own life, hopes, dreams, desires, fears, wants and scars. It's all those things that bring us together and what makes us human.
I used to love the saying, "Watch your thoughts, they become words, watch your words because they become actions, watch your actions because they become your destiny." I think this is true to an extent but also thoughts aren't everything and can become quite crippling with intrusive OCD. Thoughts are important, but they don't control your actions. You always have control over your actions, but when there is conflict between your actions and your thoughts life can get quite tough. So sit with your thoughts, become friends with your thoughts. Realize anxiety, depression, loneliness, happiness, excitement, fulfillment, your emotions are a part of life and they make life amazing. It's ok to feel.
Certain things that are seen as the way it is or as permanent are just social constructs. If we live in a society where those social constructs maintain a status quo, or the society that we live in created that social construct people are going to want to keep them the same because change is scary and uncomfortable for a lot of people.
If you're unhappy figure out why. Only you can change it and sometimes you're going to have to get more and more unhappy before you can finally crawl out of the darkness.
Some things just are. They aren't good, they aren't bad. It is just the way it is. It is reality. The majority of the time we don't get to know what those things are and what is reality and what is a construct.
We as a human race know so so little. We also know so so much. Conflict is usually found in between what we think we know and what we don't know.
Rarely is there one "right way" to do something.
We no longer have to spend the majority of every waking hour searching for food and shelter. That's a pretty recent development in the grand picture of things and many places in the world are still that way. That's something to be grateful for.
Context is key. In life, in history, in the present moment.
Our taxes pay for a lot of things that we then have to pay for again. Primarily research and breakthroughs in which we don't have access. This should be public information and it is not. This is a problem.
Just because you're happy with the life you live and found stability and happiness living life a certain way it doesn't mean that life is the life everyone should live.
Always remember the sun could explode at literally any second wiping all of humanity away in an instant. This is the only life you get and it could be gone in an instant, so live it.
The majority of us don't live in extremes but extremes and conflicts get clicks. Remember that most of the people around you are just trying to live their life.
If something upsets you, offends you, pisses you off. Ask yourself why, then ask yourself why, then ask yourself why. Are you pissed at the something or the emotions that it makes you feel, why does it make you feel that way? It probably isn't the first, second or third conclusion you reach.
You never know the impact you can have on someones life. Positive or negative. So again be kind.
If you've lost hope in humanity remember you are part of humanity. If you don't like the way things are going work to change it.
When you want to say something hateful, mean, to hurt someone else, pause. You can't take words back but you can think about the effect they'll have before you say them. We should all do this more often.
You can achieve anything you want in life, or you can't. You don't get to know until you try, but realize the harder something is going to be to achieve the more sacrifices you are probably going have to make, the more you are going to have to grow, the harder you are going to have to work. Sometimes its worth it, sometimes it's not. We don't get to know, but we can sit back and appreciate the journey.
Hope you enjoyed and have a great day!
-Dr. Jake